One year

Posted: April 19, 2015 in Family
Tags: , ,

Baby Brother, Mom, and Me

It’s been a year, to the day, since my mother died. I’m trying not to be sad, because she wouldn’t want me to be sad. That works, for a little while. Until I realize I don’t have any pictures of her with my Little Man. He was 10 months old when she died, and she hated taking pictures. Of course, remembering her reaction every time someone tried to snap a pic of her makes me laugh, again. She so loved her grandchildren. She was looking forward to having a big party to celebrate Little Man’s first birthday, which is the week before hers. I always wonder if Little Man would have followed in his sister’s footsteps and tried to run away with Grammie and PawPaw every chance he got. He’ll never remember the fact that Grammie was pretty much the only person who could hold him, though he’d occasionally let PawPaw have some time.

Mom, Dad, and the Bear

Mom, Dad, and the Bear

She was so young when she died. June would have seen her 54th birthday. She was younger than my grandmother was when she died (she was 58). So, I was younger when Mom died than she was when Grandma died (Mom was 37, I was 35). I thought I’d have more time. Not to fix anything or change anything, but just to be with her. Little Man doesn’t remember her, but my Bear does. The days she talks about Grammie are farther apart, but she still talks about her and misses her. My husband occasionally still tears up thinking about her. They knew each other before he and I knew each other. They had their share of clashes (they’re SO much alike), but, they loved each other.

Dad, Mom, Grandma, Me, Little Brother

Dad, Mom, Grandma, Me, Little Brother

Mom and the Hubby

Mom and the Hubby

I miss her. We all do. She was the glue that held us together, even when we didn’t like or want to be around each other. I don’t know if I can be that for my own family, but I will try.

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